Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Oh SO Tired!!!

I'm tired, SOOOO tired, physically, mentally and emotionally tired, tired of how terribly the girls sleep at night, how long it takes to get them to go to bed for the night, how frequently they wake, how they refuse to go back to sleep in the middle of the night, how they have completely opposite daytime sleep patterns. I am tired of feeling like a failure after trying and failing at multiple sleep strategies, tired of reading books and articles by so-called "experts", tired of watching as all other babies the girls age sleep through the night. I am tired of being a sub-par mother, wife, and friend because I don't have the energy or motivation to put my all into these roles. I am just SO tired!

Including the final uncomfortable months of a twin pregnancy, I have not had a full, uninterrupted night of sleep in about 9 months. The longest stretch I have had was five hours... and that was only once. I consider it a "good" night if I get at least one 2-3 hour stretch of sleep. Most nights I am up every hour or two with one baby or the other. I cannot even imagine how it would feel to sleep the whole night through.

I am so tired I cannot think straight and I don't know what else to do....
I guess this post is to help convince myself and any other doubters that it is time for full-blown "cry it out" sleep training. My one feeble attempt at this a week ago was a disaster, but this time I think I can be much more committed. I have hit rock bottom. So wish us luck tonight.....

Who could imagine that these adorable, sweet, silly girls could be the source of such frustration and exhaustion?



5 comments:

Erika'sMommy said...

Poor Nicole...I can only imagine how you must feel because I am currently feeling very similar to you with just ONE baby! Erika is getting up every two hors and has not been sleeping the night for awhile now. I am so shot, just like you. Then I go to work and drag myself through the day and deal with more children...11 year olds! Try try try to hang in there. If you could get someone to cut you a chunk of sleep you would feel so much better. Think if you know anyone that could take care of the girls while you get some sleep. Stay calm...put them in the crib and close the door. Put yourself in the bed, close the door...and SLEEP!
Thinking of you.Understanding very very very much. You are NOT alone!

cohlee said...

Good luck tonight!! I hope you can get some WELL-DESERVED sleep!

Arjun and Indira said...

Nicole, HUGS! I am sorry you are so exhausted. There is a local sleep training lady that is suppose to be really good, comes highly recommended by other twin mommies. I can track her down for you if you want. It may be time for an intervention. Hope the CIO goes better than last week.

Damiane'

HUGS HUGS HUGS

Kyrstyn said...

Im sorry! Ill be thinking about you! Its hard, but its so worth it. I was exactly where you are, and it has made a huge difference! I hope you have the same results! Good Luck!

Heather & Chaos said...

I'm glad to hear you are feeling better since this post. I so could have written this post though and I usually get 3-4 hour chunks of sleep. I don't know how you did/do it!! I finally hit rock bottom on Thursday night and just let Emily cry when she woke up in the middle of the night. It was hard but she's slept the last three night through. Not sure if it was a fluke (and I'm jinxing myself now) but I'm hoping.

And i TOTALLY agree with your comment about how cute they how can they be so frustrating! That is so my Emily! Good luck the rest of the week. I hope you get more sleep as the days pass!